Maria; a charming and pretty lady in her forties. Born to a well to do family; to a military father with international experience and exposure and a domineering mother; both up to their knowledge were trying to set strict rules for an education that would make them proud of her. Was that to guarantee for a girl her freedom and happiness?
- Gunter; a gentleman and a leader later in his career as an architect; born to exemplary loving parents, providing warmth and security for the three brothers and sincere caring relations, that are hard to find in society. Gunter is happy on his own, but can he find similar relations in marriage?
- Two questions then, or rather two dreams that were in the mind of the young couple when they first met. She was then seventeen and he four years older, both practicing water sports; surfing and sailing alone in a lake near their neighboring family houses. Were these sports symbols for their search for freedom and achievement?
- The willing Gunter trying twice to show loving admiration with his inner strength, but the beautiful Maria was looking for more than a sensitive lover; a partner that would show the sort of power she aspired to find in herself when she rebelled against the controlling mother. How could she at her seventeen distinguish between a man with inner strength and another showing apparent strength through emotionally unavailable? She had enough fans around and life was so promising then.
- What then you would expect from a sincere young adult if his caring advances were not welcomed twice? Maria, sure of her attractivity, was expecting that he would still chase her and show confident determination to satisfy her vanity and need to feel chosen, but she thought he didn’t pass the test.
- The frustrated Günter, favoring his tranquility, found it safer to indulge in a formal marriage, but again having children and keeping to himself in a superficial relation was not to satisfy a flame of faith in a dream, so trying the reverse in another marriage to a serious lady that he loved, he again had other children before the control issues of the domineering intolerant wife suffocated his free spirit yearning for fairness and respect. The agonizing power struggle was sure to lead to the destruction of the love temple. Would he then lose hope?
- And Maria, subconsciously repeating the paternal model, married, and had children, to an intolerant egoist husband seemingly powerful, and after porce had an affair for years with a distinguished doctor who priorized his comfort not willing to commit to marriage. Would then the apparent strength of both men fulfill the emotional need and right to be truly loved and cared for?
- Back to the lake where they first met while living with parents, Günter now a prominent architect bought a land for construction. Were he subconsciously looking for memories of his warm family background that he missed in all his affairs? But more than that, as it was only natural to find there his Maria one of those days when she visits her parents; a coincidence then was more than probable. Was he rewriting his destiny faithfully insisting that Utopia is not impossible?
- May be thirty years ago it wasn’t a big deal for Maria and Gunter to give up the possible affair, maybe if they committed themselves to each other, the relation wouldn’t withstand their conflicting wishes, but what about the two of them now that they did try the alternatives, row the respective lessons and could realize what is needed at heart?
- Maria came to understand that real power is within and, away from the insecure need to control others and the egoist interest-oriented inpiduals with insufficient emotional response, she needs a caring loving serene stable partner, not a shallow showy cool.
- And Günter, now a suitable partner, needs to fulfill the long lost dream and enjoy the fun of sharing life path with a spontaneous stylish partner that can revive the child inside and add vitality and laughter to the idealistic lonely character.
- They then need each other, complete each other and fulfill the golden long-awaited dream. Was destiny finally kinder than they ever thought when they didn’t marry since young? Is it worthy at the late age to listen to the heart call and follow the unstoppable dream? Is it really too late to still dream while getting older?
To read more articles By Dr. Hadi Eltonsi, Retired Ambassador and Medical Doctor, press here
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