Things to Never Say to Someone with Depression

Depression is a medical condition in which you feel like there is no joy in life and nothing matters anymore.

Over 264 million people worldwide have depression, but symptoms vary from person to another. A depressed person feels hopeless, worthless, guilty, or sad, in addition to sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and suicidal thoughts.

Depressed people are extremely sensitive to every world you say while interacting with them. Your words and actions can have a tremendous impact. So, here are some potentially harmful things to avoid saying.

It's Your Fault

Depression is usually a result of factors outside of a person's control, such as genetics, environmental factors like abuse or poverty, stress, and brain chemistry. In this sense, blaming someone for their depression can be detrimental.

So it is highly recommended to avoid using phrases like:

• "You wouldn't feel this way if you did this.."
• "It's your fault that you feel this way"
• "I told you so."
• "You deserve this."

Leela R. Magavi, MD, a psychiatrist and regional medical director at Community Psychiatry in California, said: "This could lead to demoralization and feelings of helplessness."

You’re Freaking out Over Nothing

When you tell someone that the pain they’re feeling is “nothing” diminishes the fact that depression is a serious health condition. To you, an event or situation that constitutes inconvenience may feel like an insurmountable obstacle to people with depression.

The symptoms may not be visible to you on the outside, but that doesn’t mean the struggle they’re facing internally isn’t real. Depression doesn't need any justification.

Hence, you need to stop saying these phrases:

•  "It can't be that bad."
•  “You are just looking for attention.”
• “It’s all in your head.”
• "You're imagining things."

The experience is highly personal, and even if you care about someone and want to help, be aware that you can never know for sure how it feels to be them.

Get Over It

Although mental problems exist in the brain, a change in thought is not enough to overcome them. Once a person has become depressed, it's not a matter of just "talking themselves out of" a low mood.

Studies show that mental health problems, including depression, are caused by chemical and electrical imbalances in the brain. Just like diabetes or hypothyroidism, depression can happen because the body is not making enough of substances it needs to function properly.

Therefore, you should avoid using these phrases with a depressed person:

• "Just smile"
• "Try to think positively"
• "Snap out of it!"
• "Cheer up"

If a person with depression could simply "cheer up" or "Get over it", they would. So, telling them to do so can add to their distress.

Other People Have Problems Too

As a matter of fact, telling someone that the whole world is struggling doesn’t change what that person feels nor help him even a little bit.

"Depression is highly personal and does not warrant a justification of any kind. Any comparison could completely minimize and dismiss someone's daily life experience," Magavi affirmed.

For that specifically, try not to come across these phrases:

• "Other people have problems, too."
• "Be grateful for what you have."
• "Other people have it worse."

Only the person experiencing depression fully understands how they feel. While they may seem to be doing alright on the outside, they can still be in daily combat with themselves.

You Don't Seem Sad

Clearly, what someone's life looks like on the outside doesn't always reflect, or change, how they feel on the inside. Stop being judgmental when you know nothing about others' feelings.

If you do not want to hurt their feelings anymore, avoid using these phrases:

• "But you don't look depressed!"
• "I haven't noticed a change in your attitude or behavior."

Furthermore, when you dismiss a person's depressive feelings, it may signal to them that they shouldn't open up again, are being dramatic, or are at fault for feeling the way they do.