There are so many emotions that come along with adding a second child to the family, mothers have been spending a lot of time thinking of their hopes and fears for their little family…
In a recent article posted by Baby center, an experienced mother provide her ideas about the hopes and fears of mothers who are preparing to deliver their second baby.
Hope 1: We will cope just fine as a family of four
It seems to be the common reaction for people to say ‘Wow, you are going to have your hands full! How are you going to cope?’ like we’ve done a bit of a crazy thing. Maybe we have, but I know plenty of families with children really close together in age and also people with twins – they’re fine – so I’m confident we will we be too! Having a baby is crazy and chaotic at times – I also KNOW it’s going to be hard work as we’ve done it once before. I’ve absolutely loved caring for Violet and becoming a Mum so I feel I’ll be in my element with two, even if it’s a bit more of a juggle, I’m up for the challenge!
Fear 1: How will I divide my time?
On the other hand, I already get Mum-guilt when I don’t spend enough time with my first born, Violet. I always picture myself being a Pinterest mum, creating homemade sensory and development activities, and taking daily trips to the park.
Occasionally, that pans out, but realistically, there always seems to be something that needs doing around the house. I also have two jobs and a dog to look after. With another baby in the mix – How will I divide my time?!
Hope 2: They’ll be really close
I’m hoping as they are two little girls and so close in age, they’ll grow up and be really close. I didn’t grow up with any brothers or sisters around me, so I’m really excited to have given Violet the opportunity for a lifelong best friend. Hopefully!
Fear 2: Do I have enough love for two?
This baby was very much planned and wanted, but I’d be lying if it didn’t feel strange to think about loving another baby as much as I love Violet. She totally turned my world upside down and my entire year has revolved around her – how can I do this again for another? I’m 100% sure when she arrives and I take that first look into her eyes, I will feel just the same as at Violet’s birth.
Someone once told me ‘love is elastic, it stretches’ and I believe that, but I think this is something you can’t imagine until they are here!
Hope 3: We’ll be able to get out and about without too much of a drama
One thing I didn’t expect with Violet was how daunting I found getting out of the house with a newborn. Just a short trip to the shops seemed like a marathon and I constantly worried – did I have the right stuff in the change bag? Enough milk, enough nappies? What if she has a poonami in public? Where do I go to breastfeed in public? – so many things to think about! Of course, I got in my groove eventually, but it took a bit of time – longer than I expected. Now we’ve put together our double buggy (and it’s a BEAST) I wonder if I’ll ever get out my front door in less than an hour again. This is going to take some super organisational skills!
Fear 3: Will the birth be as traumatic again?
Violet’s birth didn’t go to plan. I know they say not to follow your birth plans too closely and be ready for the unexpected, but I feel quite disappointed with Violet’s birth and everything that happened, to the point I’ve been in birth trauma counselling during this pregnancy too.
With that said, every birth is different so I’m feeling positive this time. I hope it’s the birth experience I wanted, a calmer, more controlled experience. I’ve been doing a hypnobirthing course and am feeling so much better about it all – I CAN DO THIS!