Here's How to Avoid Spoiling Kids

Yassmine Elsayed

Parents always find it difficult to draw a line between spoiling their kids and raising them with a good psychological health.

Baby Center’s report advices mothers the ways to avoid spoiling their kids. It starts by instructing mothers to set clear rules for how you want your kids to behave and be consistent about enforcing them. Help them to learn to take some responsibility for his actions and his things.

The experts believe that mothers won’t spoil their kids by giving them too much of her time or affection. In fact, if the kids feels loved and appreciated, it'll be easier for the mother to discipline them and set clear rules. That's because they're more likely to trust her guidance if they are feeling happy and secure.

You can also show them that respect is an important part of any relationship by listening to them when they talk calmly, and always taking their feelings into consideration.

Here are some questions tackled in this regard.

Should you give your kids chores to do?

Giving your kids simple tasks, such as putting his shoes in the cupboard, introduces them to the idea of taking responsibility. He'll learn that cooperation is important, and that they can feel good about themselves by helping others. Tell them how helpful they are being. This is a perfect way to deal with spoiling.

How often should you offer presents?

Try to limit big presents to special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. Although it’s fine to buy your child a treat now and then, there's no need for a treat on each outing.

If your kids expect treats all the time, they won’t appreciate them as much. The same goes with other people who may gift them, as the kids might ungratefully feel when someone else gives them something.

When you do give your kids a present, encourage them to say a polite “thank you”, and to look after it carefully. Try to avoid bribing them with promises of what you’ll buy them if they tidy their room for instance, but it won’t hurt to get them an occasional treat as a reward for good behavior, or for being especially helpful.

If there’s a particular toy they want, you could set up a star chart so that they can earn it through good behavior. It’ll mean more to them to know that they worked hard to achieve it, and they may take better care of it if they know that they had to put effort into getting it.

How to stop giving in?

Giving in can make your kids think that they’ll always be able to win you over, and accordingly, worsen their spoiling. This may lead to arguing, tantrums, and whining.

So try not to give in, but be compassionate and acknowledge your child’s feelings: “I know you really want another biscuit, but we agreed that you could only have one. I’m sorry that you can’t have another now.”

How to help your kids to deal with disappointment?

It's difficult to see your kids feeling upset when they don’t get something they want, and it’s natural to want to make them happy. But it’s important that they learn to deal with feeling disappointed occasionally.

So when they cry over not getting a toy when you’re out shopping, offer your sympathy, and let them know that their feelings of disappointment won’t last forever. Then try to distract them, for example, by chatting about what you can do together when you get home.

When you do have to say "no" to your kids, give a reason for your decision so that they don’t feel that you’re controlling them for the sake of it. Also, bear in mind that they may still throw a tantrum when things don’t go their way.