SEE – August 25th :Does it seem as if your toddler is constantly breaking the rules and you're constantly saying "no"? Don't take this as a deliberate sign of mischief; it's just normal toddler behavior.
According to the experts of Babycenter.com toddlers need to assert his independence. You can ease frustrating moments by explaining the reasoning behind your rules. Saying, "You can't touch the cooker because you might get hurt," will make it easier for your little one to stay away. Another tip: Head the kid off at the pass with a little advance warning. If dinnertime is approaching and your toddler is immersed in play, say: "Five more minutes but then you must come to the table." This should help you avoid calling the kid again and again.
Your child is more in control of self movements these days. Toddlers can hold small objects and play with them easily, and can stack and knock over towers of bricks.
Your little one can also concentrate for longer periods of time. Sometimes they may become so absorbed in stacking and sorting that they'll resent your interruptions.
Make transitions easier by warning your little one in advance: "You can play with the bricks for five more minutes, but then it's dinner time." It's best to give the child a few warnings before you insist that he/she finishes their play.
Parents.com experts provide mothers below with what should be done to discipline your toddlers.
"If you're always saying, 'No, no, no,' your child will tune out the no and won't understand your priorities," says Pearson, author of The Discipline Miracle.
Define what's important to you, set limits accordingly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Then ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the "who cares?" category -- the habits your child is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple (and only purple).
Some misbehavior is preventable -- as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance, such as removing tangible temptations. If your 18-month-old is prone to grabbing cans off grocery store shelves, bring along some toys for your kid to play with in the cart while you're shopping. If your 2-year-old won't share their stuffed animals during playdates at home, remove them from the designated play area before their pal arrives. Also, some children act out when they're hungry, overtired, or frustrated from being cooped up inside. Make sure your child eats healthy snacks, gets enough sleep (a minimum of 10 hours at night, plus a one- to two-hour nap), and plays outside to burn off energy -- even in chilly weather.
"Between the ages of 2 and 3, children are working hard to understand how their behavior impacts the people around them.
If your reaction to a situation keeps changing -- one day you let your son throw a ball in the house and the next you don't -- you'll confuse your kid with mixed signals.
There's no timetable as to how many incidents and reprimands it will take before your child stops a certain misbehavior. But if you always respond the same way, your little one 'll probably learn his lesson after four or five times.
Sure, it's hard to stay calm when your 18-month-old yanks the dog's tail or your 3-year-old refuses to brush his teeth. But if you scream in anger, the message you're trying to send will get lost and the situation will escalate -- fast. "When a child is flooded with a parent's negative mood, he/she 'll see the emotion and won't hear what you're saying," explains William Coleman, MD, professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School, in Chapel Hill. Indeed, an angry reaction will only enhance the entertainment value for your child, so resist the urge to raise your voice. Take a deep breath, count to three, and get down to your child's eye level. Be fast and firm, serious and stern when you deliver the reprimand.
If you're like most first-time mothers, you tend to reason with your child when he breaks rules, offering detailed explanations about what your little one did wrong and issuing detailed threats about the privileges the kid'll lose if he/she doesn't stop misbehaving. But as a discipline strategy, over talking is as ineffective as becoming overly emotional, warns Dr. Coleman. While an 18-month-old lacks the cognitive ability to understand complex sentences, a 2- or 3-year-old with more developed language skills still lacks the attention span to absorb what you're saying. Instead, speak in short phrases, repeating them a few times and incorporating vocal inflections and facial expressions, Dr. Coleman advises. For example, if your 18-month-old swats your arm, say, "No, Jake! Don't hit Mommy! That hurts! No hitting. No hitting." A 2-year-old can comprehend a bit more: "Evan, no jumping on the sofa! No jumping. Jumping is dangerous -- you could fall. No jumping!" And a 3-year-old can process cause and effect, so state the consequences of the behavior: "Ashley, your teeth need to be brushed. You can brush them -- or I can brush them for you. You decide. The longer it takes, the less time we'll have to read Dr. Seuss."
If repeated reprimands, redirection, and loss of privileges haven't cured your child of his offending behavior, consider putting your kid in time-out for a minute per year of age. "This is an excellent discipline tool for kids who are doing the big-time no-nos," Dr. Karp explains. Before imposing a time-out, put a serious look on your face and give a warning in a stern tone of voice ("I'm counting to three, and if you don't stop, you're going to time-out. One, two, THREE!"). If the kid doesn't listen, take your little one to the quiet and safe spot you've designated for time-outs, and set a timer. When it goes off, ask him/her to apologize and give a big hug to convey that you're not angry. Indeed, toddlers don't like to be separated from their parents and toys, so eventually the mere threat of a time-out should be enough to stop them in their tracks.
No matter how frustrated you feel about your child's misbehavior, don't vent about it in front of your kid. If people heard their boss at work say, 'I don't know what to do with my employees. They run the company, and I feel powerless to do anything about it,' they'd lose respect for your kid and run the place even more. It's the same thing when children hear their parents speak about them in a hopeless or negative way. They won't have a good image of you as their boss, and they'll end up repeating the behavior.
Still, it's perfectly normal to feel exasperated from time to time. If you reach that point, turn to your spouse, your pediatrician, or a trusted friend for support and advice.
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