Dealing with Defiant Kids.. All About Rules (1)

By: Yassmine ElSayed


CAIRO, Mar. 5 (SEE) – Some kids have the inclination to act rebelliously, either as a core personal trait, or they tend to adopt this rebellious behavior by the time they get old and realize that they are separate from their parents, but also have their own identity.

For some kids, this behavior is a mean to experiment how actions influence the world around them. What will happen if they push trucks down the stairs, even after you told them not to? Sometimes the only way for them to learn is to test their boundaries.

They may ignore your orders, but thankfully, defiance is a temporary stage, although it’s exhausting having to deal with it. Your kids will grow out of it as they learn to control their impulses and develop their ability to empathise and cooperate with others.


A recent piece published by Baby Center tells you how should you cope with that defiance time at your kids.. Don’t worry, these are very simple tips. Check them out below:

Set clear rules
Give your preschoolers clear boundaries so that they know what’s expected of them. Set a few simple rules, and discuss them: “We don’t hit. If you’re angry, use your words.” Or, “Remember, you always have to hold my hand in the car park.”


Praise good behaviour
One of the best ways to teach your kids to obey the rules is to give them lots of praise when they do.
Instead of simply saying, “What a good boy!” try to be specific, “Thanks for hanging up your coat when I asked you to!” or, “It’s so helpful when you pick up your toys!” will encourage him to do more of the same.


Be sympathetic
When you ask your kids to come and have lunch and they yell, “No!”, try to put yourself in their shoes. Give them a hug and say: you know it’s hard to stop while he’s having fun, but lunch is ready.
Rather than getting angry and making the issue into a conflict, show them that you understand their feelings. Be kind, but be firm about making them come to the table.


Stay calm
Dealing with a defiant child is hard work, and you may get very close to losing it from time to time. Keep your cool if possible and show your child that it’s possible to deal with conflicts without getting angry. If you need to, leave your child in a safe place while you take a moment to yourself and do some deep breathing to calm down.
Don’t use threats, bribes or punishments to get your child to do what you want. They may be a short-term fix, but won’t help  them to learn why it’s important to listen to others.


Be consistent
Repetition is key for teaching three to four year olds how to behave. Your kids may not obey a rule the first time they hear it, but if you deal with their actions in the same way every time, it’s easier for them to learn what’s expected of them.
The more often you give in to your preschoolers, the more they will learn that rules can be broken. Once you’ve made a rule, always try to stick to it. Don’t make threats you won’t carry through, such as “I’ll leave you in the shop if you don’t calm down!” This will teach your preschooler that you don’t always mean what you say.

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