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Supervisor Elham AbolFateh
Editor in Chief Mohamed Wadie

Traditional Marriage or Marriage Based on Love?


Sun 03 Nov 2019 | 01:45 PM
Basant ahmed

There are many questions in our minds on what is better and more successful, the traditional marriage or the love one in which you choose your partner and perhaps after a long love story or it is better to depend on your family and your relatives to search for your partner?

There are many research indicating that there are no clear signs that traditional marriage is more successful and better than the marriage based on love or vice versa, but in the case of the latter, you are the decision maker.

In this article, I want to point out to the advantages and disadvantages of traditional and marriage based on love, but before I go into details, I want to clarify something important, which is that the marital relationship and the extent of its success rely on respect, understanding and trust between the two partners.

Disadvantages of traditional marriage

Many still prefer to get married in the traditional way, or the so called “salonat marriage”, as they consider it the best way to get a good partner.

The two sides meet without prior knowledge, after one of the relatives of the two families nominates the partners to each other. They meet and talk to each others to determine if they can accept going into this relation or not.

Sometimes, traditional marriage forces us to wear false masks until we adapt to reality.

Some girls consider it "degrading"

Some girls refuse "traditional marriage" because they feel that they are a commodity that the groom and his mother have the right to check her, then they can reject or approve.

Waiting for response is painful

After the first meeting, the two parties are waiting for a response, either by acceptance or rejection, but it is too painful when one party gets excited while the other reject!

There is no feelings as this type of marriage is based on mind only and there is no room for love. will it come after marriage?! no one knows.

Advantages of traditional marriage

Traditional marriage could lead to passion after a period of time, unlike the marriage basing on love. In the traditional marriage, the bonds between any couple became stronger after 10 years of marriage.

In 2011, a researcher at Harvard University found that love in traditional marriages tends to grow gradually, while in the case of marriage based on love, feelings of love begin to fade up to half within 18 months.

In 2012, another US study found that both parties in traditional marriages are happier than those in marriage based on love because they are more willing to make a greater effort to make their marriage successful.

In2013, an Indian study found that 74% of young people still prefer traditional marriage more than marriage based on love, as they see it more stable and successful.

Disadvantages of marriage based on love

They say that “mirror of love is blind” this quotation is clear and real. Whoever loves really does not see the flaws of his lover. This is one of the most serious disadvantages of this marriage, because marriage represents a full life in which the partners share the details.

Another disadvantage is that you may not know the family of your partner well as you depend only on loving your partner.

Advantages of marriage based on love

A relationship that is based on love is often solid and has firm roots, making marriage like a mountain that can't be shaken by any wind.  In this marriage, the relationship is based on harmony, understanding and a desire to please the other partner.

In this marriage, love motivates the couple for giving and the desire to make concessions without waiting for return.

Love makes you accept the mistakes of your partner, as you tend to tolerate him and find justifications to forget about these mistakes.